


A Rose By Any Other Name

by Sparebrainchange



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Deceptive Visions, F/F, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29321649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparebrainchange/pseuds/Sparebrainchange
Summary: After rescuing Edward in Italy and having the Cullens return to Forks, Bella’s relationship with Edward has been strained. Edward doesn’t want to turn her, concerned about damning her soul and wanting Bella to live a normal life. Bella knows, though, that without being turned she won’t last much longer. Reuniting with the Cullens brought in a new form of anguish that she’s kept hidden from all but Alice. Before the Cullens left, having feelings for Rose while dating Edward was awkward, but safe, since nothing would ever come from it. But now? It’s killing her.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Rosalie Hale/Bella Swan
Comments: 18
Kudos: 124





	1. Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first pic I'm ever posting. I'm nervous about posting fics for the first time, and welcome any feedback anyone has for my writing.

_ Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? _

~~~~~~~~~~

Bella laid on the bedroom floor, curled inward. She held back tears as she tried to keep from coughing, forcing herself to swallow instead. Breathing was painful, a fire scorching her throat with each inhale. Her chest seized and she couldn’t hold back anymore - she coughed. The wet, rough sound filled the room as she brought a hand to her mouth, training in vain to keep quiet so Charlie doesn’t hear. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes as the coughing spell went on. This was dying. With a final, disgusting hack a glob of petals expelled from her lungs and into her hand.

Two weeks ago Bella would have had a swell of emotions at the sight in her hand. After days of feeling weak and having a throat tickle, and constant rounds of coughing, eventually a single pink petal had come out of her mouth. At first she’d been confused, wondering how it was possible. Then after more fits of coughing and frantic researching, she’d been disbelieving and alarmed.

_ Hanahaki Disease _

_ A mythical disease said to be caused by the belief that love is unrequited. The patient grows flowers in their stomach, lungs, and throat. The growth of the flowers causes nausea, dizziness, and shortness of breath, eventually leading to death by suffocation.  _

Now she’s just resigned. She sighs and wipes her hand off on her jeans. 

Sniffling and shaking, Bella lifted her gaze to the center of the room. Alice stood, unnervingly still, hands poised like she was a moment away from scooping Bella up. Bella swallowed weakly and said, “I can’t fight it anymore Alice. I just want it to end.”

Alice’s eyes coated with venom. “I promise, I’ve seen you. You have to give it a chance, Bella, please.”

Bella shook her head, tears streaming from her eyes now. “It’ll never happen. You’ve seen the way she looks at me.”

“If you would tell the truth, if you would just try!”

Bella sat up suddenly, face contorted with anguish. “Enough! Alice… Rose will never love me,” Bella let out a strangled breath, “and Edward will never turn me. You’re my best friend. Please, let’s just pretend we’re two normal girls at a sleepover.”

Alice’s face pinched inward for a moment. Then she nodded once. “This conversation isn’t over.”

“Just for now then, please?”

“... Okay. This means I get to teach you how to do those fishtail braids.”

Bella let out a watery laugh. “Deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Later, when they’re curled up in Bella’s bed together after attempts at braids and a movie marathon, Alice slid her arm around Bella and rested her chin on top of her head.

“How did it happen?” she asked softly, soft enough that Bella knew she could pretend not to hear it.

“You mean how did I fall in love with Rose?”

Bella felt Alice nod above her. “I never saw it. I’d always seen a future with us, glimpses with you and Edward. Then after Italy I started searching for you again and it had changed. I still see you as a vampire sometimes, but everything else is gone.”

“When Edward left I was so… broken. In a way I still am. I’d always admired Rose, even in the face of her disdain. She’s beautiful and strong. I know she’s angry, and I know a lot of that comes out at me, but whenever she yelled I just saw how deeply she cared. Being away from  _ all _ of you hurt me. Now that you’re back, it hurts to be around you all again. I get to feel how the relationship Edward and I have is decaying. I get to feel how guilty Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme feel. Emmett’s probably the easiest, since he just acts like nothing happened. And with Rose I get to feel just how much she hates me and hates being back. With things with Edward feeling… like they do, somehow this thing with Rose became so different. It took on its own life.”

“Its own plant life?”

“Ha, yeah. I’m not really sure how a stupid crush turned into this… magic disease. This magic disease that isn’t even real.”

Alice let out a titter of a laugh. “Just like vampires and werewolves!”

Bella smiled softly. “Just like them. So the answer is, really, I don’t know. I had a bit of a crush on Rose for as long as I’ve known her. Then you all left. Now you’re back. Now it’s killing me.”

Alice huffed a heavy sigh. “I wish you would tell her. I know you think Edward wouldn’t understand, and, well he- he probably wouldn’t at first. Maybe after though, he’d be willing to turn you?”

Bella lifted her head to and twisted to fully face Alice. “You  _ really  _ think me being in love with someone else would convince Edward to change me?”

“He’s just fighting fate.  _ I’ve seen it. _ ”

“Well, I haven’t. And every time he sees it in your head he gets this tortured look on his face. He already feels so bad, after everything. I don’t want to make him feel worse.”

“You could try te-”

“Don’t even think about telling me to try telling Rose. Even,  _ even _ if she felt sympathy for what this was doing to me, she couldn’t just fix it. It has to be requited love. She can’t just… force her feelings like that…”

“I still think you should try not dying. I don’t want you to go.”

“You could always bite me.”

Alice shifts, a little uneasy, and her expression softens. “I don’t think that’s how it will go. I think if you  _ decide  _ to  _ try _ it will work out.”

“And if I don’t? If I can’t face telling Edward or Rose?”

“Then talk to Carlisle and see if he’ll change you against Edward’s wishes.”

“I’m too tasty, huh?”

Alice’s smile is warm and soft when she says, “I wish I could make it easier. You should decide to try, instead.”

Bella smiles back, “For my best friend in this life I will  _ try _ to decide to try. Tomorrow.”

Bella lets the tickle that has been creeping up her throat take over, and she gives in to a small coughing fit. Once it’s done, she turns and settles back under the covers, feeling the weight of everything in her lungs.

“Tomorrow,” Alice agrees, and turns off the lamp.


	2. A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice convinces Bella to decide to tell Rose about her feelings.

_ Bella knows she’s dreaming. It’s clear to her because in her dreams, Rose isn’t sneering at her or yelling. In her dreams, Rose gently talks about her motivations, wants, and fears, explaining away any moment of anger or jealousy in the real world with that soft gaze and an apologetic tilt of her head. It was in her dreams when Bella first realized how complex Rose is. She knows, intellectually, that it isn’t really Rose talking, but somehow everything dream Rose says feels right. _

_ “Are you even listening to me?” Rose asks, a smirk playing at her lips. _

_ “Would it bother you if I said I wasn’t because I was too busy admiring your eyes?” _

_ Rose huffs and looks away in mock offense. It is only in her dreams that Bella can speak like this, that Bella gets this side of Rose hidden from everyone else. _

_ “I’m sorry Rose. Tell me what you were saying.” _

_ “I was talking about Emmett.” _

_ “What about him?” _

_ “That I love him,” Rose says, and the warmth in her voice is apparent, “and I’ll always love him. He really… balances me, you know? And he’s fun.” _

_ “Emmett’s a good guy, and a good fit for you.” _

_ “Sometimes I hate him for it.” _

_ Bella’s head jerks back a bit in shock. “You hate him?” _

_ Rose sighs, and her face twists into something self-loathing. “He balances me. Where I am stormy he is light as day. With Emmett, I am still seething, bitchy Rose and always will be. I’ve been angry for so long and… sometimes I wonder if the right person would help me move on from it. Nobody likes me when I’m angry and that includes me.” _

_ Bella’s quiet for a moment. “I think you can move on from your anger with or without an Emmett to complete you.” _

_ Rose blinks and then scowls. “Kind of hypocritical for you to say, since you’ve got Edward. That dumbass would move heaven and earth to help you.” _

_ “Please don’t say that. Edward doesn’t complete me and…” Bella hesitates, “Most days I feel like he doesn’t even know me. That I’m just a thing he wants to keep me happy and healthy, but only in specifically his way and his version of that. It doesn’t really matter what I think or feel or do.” _

_ Rose sighs and her shoulders slump. “Yeah, I know. He’s an idiot. You’re not really a hypocrite.” _

_ “You’re not incomplete, Rose. You are whole. You are beautiful, and smart, and strong on your own. Even in your anger you are caring and thoughtful where it matters. You don’t need Emmett to change for you to heal. You just need to remember who you are.” _

_ “A complete and total badass?” _

_ “Exactly.” _

_ Rose nods, lips quirked into a smile, and they fall into companionable silence. _

_ It is not the first time they’ve had this conversation, and it may not be the last. Dream Rose often comes back to how with Emmett she is still an angry person, and Bella often brings up how futile having an opinion seems when with Edward. Sometimes Bella wonders if the dreams are a sign Rose needs to have these talks with someone, but Bella isn’t a seer. _

~~~~~~~~~~

Alice is in the kitchen talking to Charlie when Bella gets downstairs.

“I just worry about her. At this point it always feels like there’s something she’s not telling me,” Charlie says, seemingly more to himself than to Alice.

Bella hovers in the doorway, jaw dropped at hearing Charlie speak so openly about something to one of her friends.

Alice’s face is clear of mischief when she says, “I’m sure if it were life threatening she’d tell someone about it” but it’s ruined when she sends Bella a surreptitious wink.

Bella grimaces. She’s been playing off the coughing fits as a minor cold as well as she can around Charlie, not wanting to alarm him and not even knowing how she’d begin to explain what’s happening to her. How do you tell your dad you’re dying from flowers because you’re in love with your boyfriend’s sister, but your boyfriend has the ability to save your life by biting you, and oh by the way she’s not his real sister and they’re all vampires?

Bella clears her throat and steps fully into the kitchen. “Morning”

“Morning!” Alice chirps.

“Heya kid, how’d you sleep?” Charlie asks, posture a little awkward. It’s clear he doesn’t want to ask, now that she isn’t constantly waking him up with nightmares, as if any acknowledgment she was tormented in her sleep for months may bring it back.

“Good, dad, thanks.”

Bella shuffles over to the coffee maker but sees that Alice already made the pot. She shoots Alice an appreciative smile before pouring herself a mug. Charlie lets them know he’s heading out to go fishing and won’t be back until late. Bella hums in response, thoughts floating back to her dream. She wonders if Rose struggles with feeling incomplete, if she feels like she still needs someone. She wonders if Rose would ever consider letting her, talking to her like dream Rose, sharing her feelings. Bella breaks into a round of coughs, quickly leaning over the sink so any petals from her mouth can go down the disposal so Charlie doesn’t see. Charlie pauses in his exit, but Bella lifts a hand to wave him away. Alice promises she’ll keep an eye on Bella and he relents, leaving.

Bella’s coughing fit ends shortly after Charlie is gone.

“So,” Alice starts, “someone promised me they’d decide to try.”

“I believe I said I’d  _ try _ to decide to try.”

“Bella!”

“Fine, fine. Just um.. Just, decide? That I’ll tell someone?”

Alice nods and perches up on the counter.

Bella takes in a deep breath, trying to steel herself. “Okay. I’m going to tell Rose that I’m in love with her.”

Immediately Alice gets the tell-tale faraway look that Bella knows means she’s searching through futures. Bella occupies the time by finishing her coffee and drumming idle beats on the counter. When after a few minutes Alice is still searching, Bella pulls out her tattered copy of  _ The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet _ and decides to torture herself by reading it again. What once  was a beautiful story has now become a reminder of the lengths Edward will go when hurting. As her eyes pass over the words, her mind is on how ready Edward looked to die, to have the Volturi take him. Bella was broken without him for months but Edward tore himself to pieces. And now that’s over, he’s back, and won’t budge on the idea of her soul. All the pain between them really can’t be healthy, can it? It doesn’t even have to do with Rose. If she and Edward were just a normal boy and girl, wouldn’t she have been put in therapy? She knows Charlie wanted her to go and wonders if things would be different if he had pushed her harder.

Bella is broken away from her thoughts by the sound of Alice’s broken gasps.

“Alice? What happened? Are you okay?”

Alice starts rapidly shaking her head and muttering to herself, too quietly for Bella to hear, before she flings herself at Bella and wraps her arm around her too tightly.

“Alice? Alice, you’re hurting me!”

Alice quickly lets her go and then meets her eyes, voice thick when she says, “I’m sorry, Bella.”

“... oh” Bella says, suddenly numb.

“I don’t understand. I’ve seen you before, as a vampire.”

“And now?”

Alice’s eye pool with venom. “We watch you die.”

“‘We?’”

Alice nods, without explaining. Somehow Bella still knows she means Rose is there, and probably Edward, whenever she takes her last breath.

“Can you see anything past that?”

Alice shakes her head and begins to explain what she’s seen of the final weeks of Bella’s life. It was sparser than normal, little flickers here and there, as if something else still hadn’t been decided. There’s a moment where Bella makes a comment in the cafeteria and Rose throws a drink in her face. When Bella tries to apologize for it the next day they get into a shouting match. Multiple snippets of Bella trying to start a conversation with Rose. One moment that stands out from the rest: they’re in Carlisle’s office, and Rose is asking her why she wants to be changed so badly. Rose isn’t screaming, but soft, and opens up to Bella about her past in a hope that they will come to understand each other. Alice doesn’t share the specifics, saying that it is Rose’s story to tell. Then, finally, Bella dying, Edward’s panic and confusion permeating the room, but all Bella can focus on is trying to keep Rose in view for her final breaths.

“I think he regrets it.”

“What?”

“Focusing on your soul.”

“Do you think that means if I told him instead, he’d turn me?”

“... Bella, I’m going to ask a very,  _ very _ difficult question. You literally die because Rose doesn’t love you. Do you really want to turn that into immortal life? The things that happen around our death stick with us, are strongest for us, and it’s very difficult for us to get over things or change. It takes vampires a very long time.”

“Do you think I’d always feel this agony over Rose?”

“The thirst would distract you for a while, maybe.”

Bella heaves a sigh. “Well.. thanks for trying. Or trying to get me to try.”

Alice looks devastated. “What are you going to do now?”

Bella shrugs, “I think I’m going to do exactly what you’ve seen. While it probably means I’m disturbed, there’s something comforting about knowing that even if I tell Rose, I die. I still love her. I still  _ want _ a closeness with her. Your visions work on decisions, and maybe somewhere along the way something will change with something she decides. I don’t know - this has felt oddly freeing.”

Alice does not look comforted. “If nothing changes you still die.”

Bella smiles sadly, “I’ll die trying, at least. You’ve helped me choose that. Thank you, Alice. You are my best friend.”

Bella hugs Alice. They stand in the kitchen, arms wrapped around each other, Alice making the occasional hiccuping noise and Bella humming lightly, feeling oddly at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart breaks for Alice. She just wants her bestie to not die.


	3. Confide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella tries to talk to Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay! I had a lot of trouble figuring out how to get started. I knew I wanted Jasper to learn the truth, too, but I had to figure out how to make that happen. I also want to apologize for the grammar mistakes I make - for some reason I am really bad about picking a verb tense and sticking to it.

Bella stood by her truck awkwardly in the Forks High parking lot. She had gotten to school early because Alice said today Rose would be driving in alone. Scuffing her shoes together, she wasn’t sure how she felt about trying to approach Rose like this. She imagined it wouldn’t go well - and Alice had predicted as much - but she still stood by her decision to talk to Rose. If she was going to die, she was going to die honest.

Rose’s car screeched into the parking lot, pulling surprisingly smoothly into a spot at the back of the lot. Bella took a few deep breaths to steel herself. There weren’t a lot of students at the school yet, so they would have relative privacy when she approached her. After a few seconds of standing stock still, Bella nodded to herself and started walking to Rose’s car. It wouldn’t do to lose her cool when she had this opportunity. 

Rose got out of the car just as Bella was closing in the distance. Rose did a quick scan of the parking lot before she sneered. “What are you doing?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“You have nothing meaningful to say, you stupid little human!” Rose hissed.

“Rosalie, please, I’d really like to just try to put aside our differences.”

“For what? So you can have an easier time with Edward? Newsflash!  _ This life isn’t easy. _ ”

“It’s really important to me that we have at least one open conversation.”

Rose scoffed and shut the car door with a nudge of her hip. “Keep dreaming, Bella.”

Rose storms off toward the school. Bella thought she was out of hearing distance when she whispered, “I will” but from the momentary stiffness in Rose’s shoulders, she’d heard it.

Trying not to be embarrassed, Bella let out a prolonged sigh, swallowing hard to suppress a cough and headed inside. At least Rose let her talk at all.

~~~~~~~~~~

“How’d it go?” Alice whispered to Bella in the hall.

Bella scowled. “You already know how it went.”

“But I wanted to hear it from you. Just because I can see it doesn’t mean I don’t want to know your feelings. You seem to keep forgetting that  _ you are my friend. _ Friends listen.”

Bella’s expression softened and she fidgeted with the straps of her backpack. “She didn’t exactly listen. While she totally shut me down, I did get full sentences out. She didn’t threaten me. I think if I just keep trying we’ll get there.”

“You-”

“No! Alice, no, don’t tell me any more than you already have. I promised I’d do this for myself and I don’t want any more influence on deciding.”

Alice’s mouth twisted but she quickly nodded. Suddenly she pivoted and made a very Alice-like chirp as Jasper walked over to them. He glanced between the two and seemed to be suspicious of something based on whatever he read, but simply says, “Afternoon, ladies”. 

Bella composed her face as innocently as possible. She knows Jasper can tell that she’s had difficult feelings lately, but he has respectfully stayed out of it. Part of her has worried that it’s because he thinks she still hasn’t forgiven him. In all of her drama with Rose and Edward, she’d forgotten how difficult it must be on Jasper to be back. There hasn’t even been a real conversation between them. Alice picked up on some kind of signal and gave Jasper a quick peck on the cheek. “Bye Bella!” she calls as she skips off.

“I was wondering if we could have a talk.” Jasper smiled wryly, something subtly self-deprecating in it before adding, “Without Edward around. He’s still not here yet, thanks to Emmett.”

“So that’s why everyone’s driving separately. So you could talk to me?” Bella feels something crumple inside her, hating that the Cullens have had to scheme around Edward just for Jasper to feel like he can approach her. “I’m sorry…” she adds.

“Just how it is right now, darling, there’s nothing you need to apologize for. I, however, need to offer a mighty big apology for what happened on your birthday. We never got to talk about it.”

“Jasper you have  _ nothing _ to apologize for, it’s a risk and part of me being around the family is-”

“Please let me apologize. Even if this was a risk we all knew, you were still at risk because of my actions. Let me own my actions. Don’t you think Edward would rather you acknowledge my fault than blindly forgive?”

“It isn’t blind! And forgiving you isn’t about Edward. His feelings on if I should forgive you or not don’t matter, because I’m the one who gets to choose. I forgive you, Jasper.” Bella tried to emote as earnestly as possible so that Jasper could feel how sincere she was, that she didn’t hold it against him, and that she doesn’t even fear him.

Jasper closed his eyes, seeming to let her feelings wash over him. He opened his eyes again and said, “Okay. So in that case, I’ve got to ask - what is all this turmoil going on with you? You’re carrying something seriously heavy, Bella, and if it isn’t about being conflicted over me being around, I don’t know what it is.”

“I’d rather you still don’t know,” Bella replied quickly.

“I know my wife is keeping secrets from me for you. I’m not mad - everyone has secrets - and I’m glad you trust her still after everything. In a way it’s a good thing. I don’t like not knowing, though, now that it clearly involves her.”

Bella blinked. She hadn’t thought about how not letting Alice tell anyone might affect her relationship with Jasper, her  _ mate _ .

“I’m sorry Jasper, but I-” Bella cuts herself off, because she remembers that the reason Alice is keeping this a secret is  _ she is going to die.  _ Bella is going to die, because Rose will never love her, Edward will never change her, and her lungs are going to stop. She’d been doing so well, holding back the turmoil from this, but all of a sudden it wells inside her. Tears well in her eyes and her throat burns. It was like she could feel petals growing, thorns pricking into her lungs.

Jasper startled, shifting quickly into concern as Bella curled in on herself. She let loose one pained sob before throwing her face into her elbow to cover her coughs. Unsure of how to help, he sent a wave of calm to her to help soothe her crying.

Bella could feel petals work their way up and out, onto her sleeve. It made her cry harder, knowing she’d have to see the evidence of everything she couldn’t have.

“Come on, here, let’s get out of the hallway,” Jasper whispered, guiding her outside and out of the way of other students. Nobody had been paying attention to them at first, but when Bella had started crying they had all taken interest, trying to figure out what the latest Cullen drama was.

He continued sending little waves of calm to her, gently trying to ease her out of the crying and coughing spell she was in. Bella lifted her head, sniffled, and murmured a “Thank you,” to him. 

She tried to twist her sleeve so she could brush the petals off unseen, but Jasper noticed. “Are those petals?” he asked incredulously. “Are you coughing up petals? Goodness Bella, we need to get you to Carlisle, that’s not normal.”

Bella couldn’t help it - those last sniffles turned into choked, watery laughter. Several petals came out as she threw her head back. Jasper felt a morbid amusement emanating from her. Once she calmed down, she said “Nothing about my life is normal, Jasper. It’s a disease. An incurable one. There’s no point talking to a doctor.”

“Incurable? What on earth? Bella, I don’t know what this is but-”

“Hanahaki. It’s the secret Alice has been keeping.”

“Why did she keep you being sick a secret? By “incurable” do you mean  _ terminal _ ?! This is serious!”

Bella wanted to resist. She wanted to tell Jasper it’s a secret because it’s her life, her feelings, and her bullshit to tell and she just didn’t want to. Something in the panic Jasper showed, though, made her slump. She flipped her hair so it laid over her eyes and she had an excuse not to look at him. “If I tell you about this, it’s a secret for you, too. You can talk to Alice, but not anyone else.”

Jasper considered it carefully. Bella appreciated that Jasper always did seem to actually weigh her words, instead of making assumptions for her like Edward. Finally, Jasper nodded. So she tells him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
